I don't like hunters

so here I am, working in my office, typing away on my computer, when something catches my eye... a GIANT SPIDER crawling up the wall.

now, after working in the woods for over a year, i've become a little desensitized towards spiders. but those are american spiders. i'm in australia. australian spiders scare me. because most of them will kill me.

so what do i do? i jump up and run down the hall to find a big strong australian man to save me.

what do i find? no one.

it's after 6pm, so mostly everyone is gone.

i come back to my office, and that little bugger is now hiding. i can't be expected to work while a giant spider is watching me.

so now what? i stand on my chair in the middle of the room, of course

eventually the spider showed 'herself' again on my wall and at this time a nice older female student was walking down the hallway, so i jump off the chair and stand in the doorway and she looks startled to see me cowering there and then i just say 'spider'.

she says 'im sorry? is there a spider in there?'

so i show it to her and she says 'oh, no worries, that's just a hunstman. it's not deadly' (side note: i wikipedia'd 'hunstman spider' and they had this tid-bit of information: Huntsman spiders are not deadly to humans. They do bite, but the victim will suffer only minor swelling and localised pain, and will recover in a day or two.) (no thanks)

then she said 'well, you have 2 options. you can work with it while it darts around and eats the flies, or i can take it outside for you'

ARE YOU CRAZY? take it outside!

so she put it in a container and took it away for me.

now here are some pics of my little huntsman friend:

Abbreve This!

Talk about your mother of all abbreviations.

Australians don't say 'thank you' or 'thanks' they say 'ta'.

that's it.

just 'ta'.

Sarcasm is the language of the devil

i never got this 'complaint' last year, but for some reason it's been coming up a lot lately:

apparently Australians think Americans have no sense of humor. and by that, they don't think we understand sarcasm.

why. on. earth.

what a weird stereotype.

'oh, she's american, she doesn't have a sense of humor. i can't continue talking to her' (yes, that was actually said to me last friday) (and he wasn't being sarcastic) (just a jerk) (a really funny jerk) (that was sarcasm)

however, i was just given this 'compliment':
me: i don't understand why australians think americans don't get sarcasm. i'm one of the most sarcastic people i know'
my friend: 'yeah, i've noticed you're not bad at it'

thanks?




and here are some more Australian sayings... maybe we say them in America... but i certainly haven't heard them before:

'stacking it': falling. 'it was so embarassing, i was walking down the hall and i just stacked it'

'rock up': to walk up to, to arrive. 'i rocked up to class like 30 minutes late', 'he just rocked up to me, can you believe it?'

cadbury: alcohol lightweight. 'i've had 2 beers and i'm drunk' - 'what a cadbury'

seppo: Australian army slang for American. short for 'septic tank'. i've made a new friend in the Australian army, and he calls me seppo. all. the. time. i think i'm offended?